A Marathon NCT Antenatal Class

When faced with boredom of under 15 minutes, a recent study has shown participants would choose to self administer mild electric shocks just to keep stimulated. With that being said; this Sunday at 1pm marked the start of a 4 hour marathon class.

After my last class (Link) I quickly established that my tolerance level for sitting my remarkably bony and fidgety backside extended to around 90 minutes and not a minute more. I was certainly not looking forward to sitting in one spot for almost three times longer; to put this into context, I could almost watch all three Toy Story movies back to back in this time. I’m not sure how they expect 8 heavily pregnant women with a little human using their bladder as a punching bag to cope.

After a quick go around, reintroducing ourselves to the group, I felt much more confident, looking around the room I now saw familiar faces. Today’s class kicked off with the stages of labour, from Braxton Hicks to birthing the placenta. It went into a lot of detail, I’m just glad she didn’t whip out some crazy birthing video and force us all to watch, much like they did to us when I was 12 in my year 7 biology class. The first hour went by pretty quickly, which was a relief.

The majority of the class focussed on , whether modern methods like an epidural or more controversial methods like “relaxation techniques,” one thing that was made painfully clear (sorry), the choice was ours, well Jennifer’s, but you get the idea. In pairs, we were asked to go around the room reading sheets of paper with different methods on and asked to write down on a separate sheet, the pros and cons of each. Such a task reminds me of being back at school, surely a bunch of 20-30+ year olds are capable of being traditionally lectured rather than being constantly asked to participate in increasingly contrived exercises even a teenager would roll their eyes at.

Somewhere towards the end of the class, the dads were informed that the course leader would like to speak to the mums in “private”. Given that earlier in the session, talk revolved around how all women poop themselves when they give (i’ll spare you the details) I have no idea what could be discussed that would require we vacate the room. Not trusted to wait patiently, we were issued a task;

“Find a YouTube video and practice putting on a ” – Apparently it was too much to ask for the person running the course to actually walk us through how to put one on.

Between the 8 of us, we were given two slings, each resembling a comically long ladies scarf. Rather than going through the pain that ensued in excruciating detail, I ask you to think back to the many “How many … to change a lightbulb?” jokes you will have undoubtedly come by. Upon returning, just short of being laughed out the room, we were informed that she had never seen a sling tied like that before and we were swiftly shown how it should be done.

Well, that was the bulk of the class, the next one is this Wednesday, time will only tell what excitement we have in store. While you wait, be sure to check out my daily vlogs by clicking the button below.

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